I'm lost and stupid without you.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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