i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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