Got a toothbrush?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
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JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
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So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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