What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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