6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize