You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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