I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
did you just send me my own nude
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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