I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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