I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
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the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
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He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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