I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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