Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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