I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
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My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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