don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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