Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
there is glitter all over my balls
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