everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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