Even the bartender felt bad for me
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
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We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
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The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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