Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
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Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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