He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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