Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize