I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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