We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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