loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize