Dual....:-)
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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