$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize