Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
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whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just high enough for therapy.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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