I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
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once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
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Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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