you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize