turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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