Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize