they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
this boner is exhausting
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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