i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
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Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
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Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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