I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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