I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize