I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize