It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
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He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
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ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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