Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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