Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Found the puke drawer
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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