He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
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I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
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Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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