Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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