sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize