Can i not drive my cunt home
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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