community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We got so high we made milksteak
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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