YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I need water and some morals
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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