i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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