I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize