Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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