Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
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well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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