his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Randomize