I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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