So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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